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Painted Brain | I Know It’s Still There: A Poem
We're bridging communities and changing the conversation about mental illness using arts and media.
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  • admin
  • October 17, 2016

I know it’s still there: a poem

   I know it’s still there 

by Jamie Siegel

   Even though no one has spoken of it since the first day we’ve met, I know it’s still there.

  It’s there under the pallor that I use to distract me

  as the folds of your dewy skin contour a formless shape

  It’s there under the milky white ends of your pale blue eyes

  as they gaze at the phallic artwork mounted in your living room

  It’s there under the edges of gold-leaf descending down the butterfly roof of your apartment building

  as the sun illuminates my goodbye card buried underneath the sycamore tree

  In Hancock Park, in Eagle Rock, in Atwater Village, in Santa Monica

  Malibu, Glendale, Beverly Hills

  everywhere you have lived It’s there under surveillance, someone is watching it disintegrate

  slowly. With pleasure.

  It’s there under the nerve endings in his foreskin

 It’s there under the focus of his camera lens

 It’s scrawled underneath my name in his high school yearbook

And under the blood oozing from the nose of the illiterate vagrant

Slumped on the corner of Beverly & La Brea

I thought it was underneath the naked crepe paper at Christmas time

I arose early in the hope of neatly wrapped presents under the soon to be discarded needles

the mist that sprays off the peel as you tear open the skin to get to the ripe fruit

old-fashioned pumpkin spice cookies & children sleeping soundly in the afterglow of your fireplace.

Even though no one has spoken of it since the first day we’ve met, I know it’s still there

It’s even dancing underneath each letter of this poem, swaying with each beat of this lovely rhythm

Can you see it?? I know it’s still there.

Jamie Siegel is a writer, poet, and long-time staff member of Painted Brain. Her poetry appears here in Painted Brain News.

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