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Painted Brain | Having An Empty Refrigerator Doesn’t Feel Comfortable To Me
a first-person account of managing an eating disorder
eatingdisorder,symptommanagement,Dawn
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  • Dawn
  • February 13, 2017

Having an empty refrigerator doesn’t feel comfortable to me

First of all, I want to mention something good.

I have lived in my apartment since 2012, and I have been extremely well-behaved toward my family most of the time. I have been able to take cabs to my medical appointments. There was a time when I was having difficulty with my therapist because I wasted so much money on food that I didn’t have enough left over to see her. I seem to work things out with my psychiatrist pretty well, even if he is disappointed in me at times. To me, therapy is mainly about supporting a client rather than making a client change, and hopefully with positive support lasting change will occur in my behavior and my mental health.

My family and therapist do make suggestions based upon what works for them. My family is very health conscious and my uncle and aunt keep a strict observance of the kosher laws while my grandmother doesn’t eat shellfish or pork and won’t cook meat with milk.

I feel it is important to do what is right for me. Having an empty refrigerator doesn’t feel comfortable to me. My therapist would like me to be able to go grocery shopping and be able to eat what I buy and not throw it away. That is 100% correct. However, because I have a pattern of consistently throwing out food, she advised me to order from restaurants instead but then I really don’t have a lot of money and sometimes, I honestly don’t like the food so I throw it out. She realized at one point that I throw most food out.

Ciao!

Dawn writes about symptom management for Painted Brain News.

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