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Painted Brain | A Gift That I Can Give Myself At Every Moment
We're bridging communities and changing the conversation about mental illness using arts and media.
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  • June 1, 2016

A gift that I can give myself at every moment

I am very happy that I am finally in therapy.
I felt so sad that I haven’t been in therapy for six weeks. It was really hard for me to convince my uncle that I needed to see someone besides my former therapist or psychiatrist who also sees patients for therapy. I feel very fortunate that my therapist works with patients with eating disorders because I have had serious emotional issues with food since I was in sixth grade.
When I was in sixth grade I weighed eighty pounds and I was under ninety pounds until I was fifteen years old. I fainted one day when the day before I had Gatorade and spicy ramen noodles with shrimp for a meal around three pm and didn’t have water that morning and went to high school and I felt really tired and I couldn’t see anything and I fainted. I wasn’t able to go to Spanish class that day and the teacher was showing a portion of the movie El Cid. I saw parts of it each day and found it boring. Luckily I haven’t fainted anymore and I didn’t understand the movie El Cid at all but Sophia Loren was in it and I love Sophia Loren.
My uncle was very smart and took me to a restaurant that I liked but I could barely eat. I basically just had a regular Coke, tried to eat some soup and ate some of my sandwich.I didn’t have extreme anorexia or bulimia but I was definitely underweight at the time and it was hard to eat. Currently I am working to find foods I like that require minimal preparation and I really like the fact I can order delivery from restaurants. I really like Italian food currently.

I have to avoid buying salad, salad dressing, croutons, olives, pickles, jalapeños, imitation crab, Vegenaise, because I made an imitation crab salad two days ago and the crab smelled fishy and I have a sensitive stomach and can’t tolerate many vegetables and I got very sick and I threw it away. I felt really bad about throwing away sixty dollars worth of food.

I am finally happy to work with a therapist who specializes in eating disorders. I hope I can also see a psychiatrist who I will feel is more supportive and is closer to where I live so it is easier for me to commute there on my own.

I think my therapist is so wonderful because she is close to home and specializes in eating disorders which have been a struggle for me since middle school. I have had anorexia and mild bulimia and have struggled with food ever since I was in sixth grade.
I feel very comfortable in Dr. Trozzolino’s presence. Every moment of my life I want to be a Trozzolino moment. I love the fact the is a stable New Yorker. I find it very important to have a therapist who is emotionally stable. That is the best gift I can give myself.
Dawn writes about symptom management for Painted Brain News
  • Categories:

  • Mental Health

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