5 Signs You Might Be Experiencing Complicated Grief

Grieving is a normal human behavior when dealing with tragedy. Not grieving when difficult events occur is often considered pathological and less human (if we’re even able to classify any behavior as such). Experiencing grief in its uncomplicated form is entirely normal from a mental health perspective. However, can grief sometimes work against the person experiencing it? Yes, and when that happens, it’s called complicated grief. But what exactly is complicated grief? How can you tell if your grief is normal and natural? Today, we’ll show you five signs that may indicate you’re experiencing complicated grief. By the end of the article, you’ll have the information you need to support yourself or others around you.

What is grief? 

It wouldn’t be so silly to assume many of our readers know the answer by heart. However, since this article focuses on a specific type of grief, we must make some distinctions. 

What is normal, uncomplicated grief?

Fortunately, the most common type of grief is normal, uncomplicated grief. It’s how most people respond to the loss of someone or something significant. That’s right – grief doesn’t always result from the death of a loved one; it can also arise from losing a job or moving away from a familiar environment. Typically, this widespread form of grief involves a range of emotions: among others – anger, sadness, and persistent loneliness.

In normal grief, the intense feelings usually peak within the first six months after the tragic event. Gradually fade as people work through their emotions, start taking care of themselves, and lean on others (all of these are crucial steps of the healing journey).

What is complicated grief?

Now that we’ve defined normal grief let’s meet its darker sibling: complicated grief. 

Unlike normal grief (which gradually eases over time), complicated grief keeps you in the loop, endlessly replaying the circumstances of the loss or obsessing over its impact. This condition affects around 7% of those who are grieving, according to the data provided by this study, first published in the Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience journal. The same research has also proven that certain people (those with a history of mental health issues) are more vulnerable to complicated grief and that certain events (losing a child or a close partner or experiencing a traumatic loss like suicide or homicide) can significantly increase the risk. Complicated grief usually appears when regrets or troubling circumstances surround the death.

Five signs you might be experiencing complicated grief

Feature Image by RDNE Stock project at Pexels

Due to the serious nature of the condition and its consequences on the daily lives of individuals and people in their immediate surroundings, we need to recognize the signs, as complicated grief requires targeted and professional help to guide people back to a healthier path through their sorrow. 

1. You’re no longer enjoying activities once loved 

Imagine you used to go hiking each weekend or plan activities you enjoyed, but after the event that caused your grief, you no longer want to participate in these activities. Naturally, for a while – usually around six months – you may not feel like doing those things, and that’s perfectly normal. However, if these feelings persist long after a significant amount of time has passed, it’s time to reassess your grief and determine if it’s holding you back from enjoying life.

2. You’re stuck feeling the same way for months on end 

Feelings change over time, and people learn to cope with their loss. Eventually, even though there’s no such thing as completely getting over a loss, they start to live their lives again. The point is that people can overcome their sadness (even though it’s a common phrase, the notion that time heals everything is true to an extent). Being stuck in the same emotional state for months, with no gradual improvement, clearly indicates something is amiss. The pain shouldn’t be as intense as it was immediately after the tragic event.

3. You’re not ready to embrace everyday life like before 

Are you having trouble getting back to everyday life? Do simple activities like grocery shopping, walking to work, or working in an office full of people feel difficult? If so, you’re most likely experiencing complicated grief. After a significant loss, some people struggle with even the simplest tasks, but they typically return to normalcy over time. If they don’t, it may be time to seek professional help.

4. You’re overthinking 

Let’s say a certain amount of time has passed since the event you’re grieving, and you’re still wondering what could have been if you had done things differently. That might be a sign that something is wrong. Unfortunately (or fortunately), we can’t change the past; instead, we learn how to cope with it as we learn to cope with the Now. If thoughts of what could have been different keep you up at night, then it’s likely you’re experiencing complicated grief.

5. You’re feeling like your sense of purpose is lost 

You find yourself stuck in existential debates, lacking a clear goal in life (or at least that’s how it feels), and feeling no sense of purpose – all of this might point to complicated grief. People often feel confused when unsettling events occur, especially when they happen overnight. This confusion can spread throughout every aspect of your life, throwing off your internal compass and making it difficult to find meaning in the world surrounding you. If these feelings persist, they could even lead to suicidal thoughts. Therefore, if the words above resonate with your feelings, it’s time to consider reaching out to a trusted mental health professional.

Conclusion

These are some of the most obvious signs that you might be experiencing complicated grief. If you’re feeling any of them – whether some, all or if you notice them in people around you – it’s time for action. Reach out to a trusted mental health professional in your area and explore what can be done to help alleviate your complicated grief.

Author’s bio:

Danny Mills II is the Chief Marketing Officer at Time Wellness Arkansas, a leading mental health center offering accessible, high-quality care through personalized treatment plans. When he’s not ensuring everything runs smoothly in the center, he writes about topics that aren’t much talked about, shining light on various mental health issues. 

References: 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3384440/

https://www.webmd.com/balance/grieving-and-stages-of-grief

https://www.cruse.org.uk/understanding-grief/effects-of-grief/complicated-grief/

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